As a reluctant HIV-positive activist, I am often bombarded with the secret misgivings of closeted HIV-positive men from across the country.No matter how much or how little they know about HIV or how short or how long they have been living with the virus, there seems to be only one singular concern on their mind: They are afraid of being rejected by a potential love interest because of their HIV status. Someone is going to shut you down before they get to know you because you are living with HIV.These boys are looking for answers, but they are afraid of the one they might get. It sucks, it isn't fair, and there is nothing that you can do about how they feel.But maybe you think you can overshadow the fear that your potential mate has of HIV.You think that you can charm someone with your personality and dazzle your date with your dashing good looks so much that they just won't be able to let you go, HIV status be damned.You think maybe if you wait a couple of beats before disclosing your status, they will get to know you and look past your HIV symbol.You speak softly and explain that it doesn't make a difference, that your viral load is undetectable, that it is totally safe.
Either way, you might as well be reciting the national anthem of Ethiopia, because his ears turned off the second you said "HIV." REJECTED.It is hard to accept that some people are unwilling to give you a chance because of something that you cannot change.But there is something you can do about how you react to it. You didn't lose anything, and you most certainly saved the time you would have wasted on a guy who wasn't right for you.Whether you are HIV-positive or not, the first step to having a healthy outlook on love and relationships is to realize that you are happier by yourself than miserable with the wrong man.